"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." -The Serenity Prayer
I prayed those very words day and night until I finally mustered up the strength to move forward with my music. "Ok Lord...if this is really you leading me down this path, I pray you would show me the right people to work with. I pray you would show me the route to where I am to go next.I pray you would provide the funds needed every step of the way."
One day, while working in my studio (getting ready for lessons), I felt inspired to put on an old friend's album... Irene Kelley (I LOVE her music). She's actually an old friend of my Dad's from back in the day. As I listened, I remember thinking, "This is the kind of music I would like to write and record." I decided to take a look at the credits and was surprised when I saw it was self produced. I didn’t know people could do this kind of thing (self producing). I wanted to know more about how to self produce an album and how to go about it.
Now, before I go any further, I must tell you how much Irene has already helped me up to this point. For that I am very grateful. A couple years prior, I got this idea to start rewarding my students with studio time for their hard work. I reached out to Irene, and she put me in touch with people from the Sound Kitchen in Franklin, Tn. I must say being in that studio with the kids nudged me even more to that dream of mine. I guess you could say I got the music business "itch". The Lord was surely working and weaving a masterpiece before my eyes.
Anyway, I thought I would once again reach out to Irene since she had graciously helped me so much before. I told her about the Holy Spirit's nudge that I felt regarding starting my music career. She agreed to meet with me at a coffee shop in Nashville. We must have talked for a couple of hours. We talked about ways to get started making a record along with tips and tricks she had learned throughout her own journey. I just knew I wanted to make an album. I didn’t know what songs would be on it. I was just following that still, small voice that told me to make one in the first place.
Now, let’s back up for a second. It is fall 2016. I'm about to enter my 3rd trimester with my first child. I’m about to become a new mom. The BIGGEST thing experts say NOT TO DO is to start a new career. Everything needs to stay as normal as possible since your world is going to be turned upside down with an addition to your family coming. I THOUGHT I was ready, though. I kept saying to myself, “Pshhh, I got this!” I read SOOO many pregnancy books and articles about preparing for the arrival of a little one. Man, did I think I was prepared. I read books, I cared for numerous babies in the early childhood setting, and I attended birthing classes religiously with my husband. I wanted everything to be PERFECT for her. I was going to have the perfect birth...no cesarean. I had the Pinterest worthy nursery setup. I was prepared...but I wouldn’t say I was ready.
Everything was beginning to feel so surreal. My dreams of being a mom were coming true. I'd seen the pictures on Facebook of moms with what seemed like a "perfect life" after a newborn. Naturally I had certain expectations and limitations. I wanted to ONLY breastfeed, ONLY do cloth diapering, ONLY make my own baby food, etc. That is what I saw the “modern woman” doing on Facebook. That must be the ONLY way to go about raising a child right? Especially since your self worth is dependent upon your success as a mom...insert sarcasm sign HERE.
Now, I had heard about postpartum depression and anxiety after an infant, but was in complete denial that I could ever possibly face anything like that. Nothing was really mentioned on Facebook, pinterest, or any other social media platforms...therefore it didn’t exist...right? I believed postpartum issues happened when women weren't prepared. Well, I was FULLY prepared for the exhaustion, sleepless nights, etc. At least, I THOUGHT I was. Actually, I was a little too prepared. I was actually becoming obsessive without realizing it. Mommas, watch out for this too!
Now, it wasn’t too long after I met with Irene that day at the coffee shop that I saw an add on
Facebook for a new production company her daughter was starting. I inquired to Irene about possibly reaching out. She encouraged me to get to know them, and talk to them about my vision to see if it would be a good fit. I sent them a copy of “Love Song”. That was probably the strongest song I had at the time. I had written it in a previous life in a previous time in my life that I’m not very proud of. Everyone has their skeletons and mistakes, right?
Long and short, Irene’s daughter Justyna liked what she heard and wanted to hear more. In fact, she wanted to meet after the turn of the year (2017). I told her I would be in touch after we were settled at home with our new bundle of joy.
That is where I will leave you for now. Stay tuned for the next post friends!